Unheralded & A Preposterous Episode

Dear Reader,

Hello, once again. Two posts in such a short span. Peculiar, isn’t it? I am not to blame. Blame all the wrong things happening in sequence. First, the Violet episode and now Beatrice. Another mishap. For a while I pondered whether the title “The Apathetic Files” was being done justice as all my posts were anything but apathetic. The post before this one and this one has justified the name of my blog. 

‘Everlasting’, ‘Ceaseless’, ‘Eternal’, ‘Perpetual’, ‘Evermore’ and ‘Imperishable’ are words which are scarce or impossible to happen in reality. In the movies they might sound ‘Romantic’, ‘Chimerical’ and ‘Quixotic’. In real life words like ‘Evanescent’, ‘Transitory’, ‘Fleeting’ and ‘Ephemeral’ ought to be added to your vocabulary rather than the impossible to have, synonyms of forever. Beatrice and I no longer sail on the same boat. A phrase which here means – “Us” ceases to exist. Beatrice used to be my, what ‘modern’ teenagers would call “Soul twin”. Eric Clapton, Star Wars, Douglas Adams, similar parents, phone’s taken away most of the time, being different in the tightest of peer groups – the similarities were endless. It took her a few days of knowing me to start liking me, which by the way is highly unusual as I am hardly the ‘ladies’ guy. I am average in just about everything if not below it. When I realized how analogous we were I thought how perfect we would be together. But the surrealism of this muse made me dismiss the mere possibility. So, I went on liking another Quila like girl. This girl happened to be before Quila. I used to talk about everything to her, everything .For the first time I could be myself without putting up an act to please the next person. She was already pleased with what I was. We were close even between her guys and my girls (Quila and her predecessor). We drifted apart for a while for what she called a ‘noble’ reason. I was going through a not-very-nice phase and didn’t want to share my distraught with someone who cared as much as she did. I thought my sharing with her would take its toll on her too. 

We talked out of the canyon of distance and joined the mountains once more. The night we did that, I was telling her about Violet and how she meant so so much to me. She though I was suggesting that I liked Violet. Ha ha! I laughed quite a lot on this. And later that night when all the lights went out of sight she confessed of her affection for me. I couldn’t be more pleased. I had dismissed this earlier as too unreal. We boarded the love ship nevertheless. Initially, I thought about what had happened and had my doubts. I mused that this would ruin the friendship we had and I wouldn’t be able to love her like she did me. I was surprised that she didn’t have this playing in her head too. All she felt about his was ‘awkward’. I got on with it and realized I couldn’t ever get better than her and fell deeply into the blind but lovely pit of love.

She had to come to terms with the ruining the friendship part as well. Beatrice is impulsive and impulse leads to irrationality. She told me of her fear and also told me that she couldn’t love me like I loved her. She talked to me about it. I hadn’t. My mistake. The way out she found was us taking a break. 

The aftermath? I don’t know. And I think neither does she. She needs to figure things out Even though I’m not much of an optimist I hope she does what she thinks is right. 

Thank you for taking out your precious time and reading my blog. I am obliged towards you and your kindness. 

With all due respect,
Esh Dec In