The Miserable Mistake

Dear Reader,

With great regret I would like to inform you that I am writing again. Sadly, I have dedicated myself to living my life and writing about it on this blog. You and the other hand or claw or whatever you have, have no such obligation. You need not dedicate yourself to reading this when you could dedicate yourself to reading other blogs with a more positive view on everything and stories about a tiny man mingling with beautiful fairies. Read the following tale only if you must. 

I talked to Quila for the first time a day before what everyone considers to a very ‘happy’ day. Her birthday, that is. My status was about the race of people living in the distressing mountains at the head of our country. She happened to read that and argued over her pride. We kept talking for a while. ‘Talking for a while’ here means until my eyes went red sitting in front of the monitor. The next day I wished her even though I’ve never gotten the gist of wishing someone a ‘happy birthday’. To save you the dull details of the next few days and to save myself from uselessly writing I shall skip to the next week. We were messaging each other into the night for the past few days. I ended up, unfortunately obsessively falling in love with her. And I told her exactly that. She returned the favour with an added “but not in the other way”. If this wasn’t distraughting enough then her reason would be. Going through it informatively would be madness. So here’s it simplified. She went out with a guy, didn’t like him, broke up, liked him, patched up, he didn’t like her, broke up and the guilt of that chained her to not looking at me the ‘other’ way. 

I learned to live with the fact that she didn’t return the affection I had for her. We became very close. Very close. I made it to the important people in her life. But not important enough to satisfy me. Things went on with me in solitude. X and Sugar tried their best to convince her that I would be a great help to get her out of the guilt padlock she was in. But nice guys aren’t nice enough for the people they are nice to even though being nice is not them. 

Then the most hapless happened on New Year’s. Knave was a friend of hers and Sugar’s who kept on fighting with them in the most ungentlemanly manner very frequently. On the day she told X that he liked Quila and made him convince her to fall into his trap. Unknowingly and thinking that Knave was a wonderful guy X convinced Quila. Quila and he got into a relationship even though she didn’t like him. And mind you, all this happened when I used to like her. A few days later Knave very ungratefully asked her to choose between him and X. She chose Knave and X got to know of it. X was already miserable on his dog’s death and this made his stay in miserable land longer. Quila according to us is unfazed by this. But what we are completely sure of is that the profligate Knave is expending her. The miserable events about Quila saying evil things to Sugar have already been written about. Empathy---nah, leave it. 

Forgive me, kind reader for sharing this mind bogglingly dull and distressing story. 

With all due respect,
Esh Dec In

...Deficients From The Last Post

Dear Reader,

Unfortunately, I have to write again. And I am not a writer neither am I a speaker. As a matter of fact I’m a thinker. And thinkers are usually dunces. I read my last post and saw that it was not much of a read and was left incomplete in a lot of places.

I left a lot unsaid about Sugar. Sugar and I had quite a fall out owing to her very varying and unstable moods. She told X that I was weird beyond her taking and she would like me not talking to her for a few days. I obeyed what she commanded and fell to the wings for a while. A few days later she was talking to Julian who is another one of my close ‘friends’. I shall write more about him later in the post. She told him that I was being ‘weird’ more than usual and ignoring her. Julian called me to where they were and the stand off resulted in hostility from her side and she crying. This was quite disappointing really. But due to reasons unexplainable we are back together without any idiocy. Another thing about Sugar worth mentioning is that she made me meet the greatest mistake I made last year. Quila, that is. Julian told me that Quila had told Sugar that I shouldn’t be trusted anymore because I shared things with Violet and Beatrice. She also very slyly commented that the only reason I got close to Sugar was because I used to like her. This, FYI, is utter nonsense. This is like a soggy carrot being eaten by an ardent carnivore. Which in my unfortunate case the carnivore did eat and stopped talking/roaring to me. I had known the carnivore longer than I had known the hand which fed her the disgusting carrot. 

Then there are Kara and Bella who I left out owing to the limited space I have in my memory electrodes. They are being written about together because I see them as an inseparable pair. At least for now. They give me advice which is even worth listening only when they are together and they are also dating two idiots. They’ve become almost as idiotic because of the time (over a year) they’ve spent with them. Kara is obsessed with Smallville and HGTTG (I introduced her to them) like I am so we spend most of our time conversing about those two topics. She gets to know the classified information before Bella and shows her excitement in the most peculiar way. Bella on the other hand is hyper though she isn’t able to show it like the other blockhead hypers. She gives advice and grumbles about my doings making a face like a helpless rabbit about to be eaten by another rabbit would make. Impossible? That’s what I’m trying to say.

Julian is my favorite acquaintance as of now. He lives a few miles away from where I do and helps me to be a teenager. I mean doing things which teenagers do. I have no idea how I deduced this but he’s like X for me. Even though Julian is knowingly reckless and does not fear the results of his idiosyncrasies. X on the other hand doesn’t mean to be reckless but is framed to be that never the less. Though the last time I was to blame for his trouble. Digest this as well as you can because this is a very rare happening. I am about to tell you that I love Julian and X. I love Julian and X!

Sorry, for writing again. Since you are reading this paragraph you obviously have read the rest of this dull description. My sincere apologies for making you go through this torture.

With all due respect,
Esh Dec In

An Ersatz Life

Dear Reader,

The first impression always matters. With a girl, a teacher, a new dog and a friend’s parent. It’s best if it’s simple and understandable. Unfortunately simple and understandable happen to be a fairy tale to this blog or what it will be. I will be sharing my harrowing journey up-and down-a range of strange incidents and past happenings. Though I acknowledge, there are sweet and good happenings too. But they too haven’t ended up well.

I am a 16 year old student somewhere in the vicinity of Delhi. Gurgaon to be precise. I live with my family which is comprised of my father, my mother, my grandparents and a troublesome sister. And my heart is made up of not chambers for blood or ventricles but of love and space for my grandmother and a few friends. Though there has been an imbalance for a couple of weeks owing to a new lady in my life. In order to preserve the privacy of the people I write about I’ll be giving them names. My kid friend, Violet who I’ve known for half-a-year now. My friend and almost brother since 10 years, Tranquil. My brother, Sam. My morbid friend since 3 years, Klaus. My Sugar. My nonu X. My girlfriend, Beatrice. There are more, not many, but yes more. They’ll be given their names when I write about something which they cannot be left out of. It is my blog so it shall be dedicated to me usually so I’ll dedicate this first post to describing my friends.

Violet, who sees herself to be assaulted by unfortunate events spends most of her time undermining herself. Even though she’s an amazing enough singer to have her CD out in a while, and pretty enough to make a lot of people jealous. That jealousy has given rise to a lot of false accusations and rumors. Which further make people jump to conclusions. Even though jumping to conclusions is an expression rather than an activity, it is always better if you check your jumping to be safe or not. What I am trying to say is that jumping to conclusions about her is not safe. Even though all I do now is talk. Violence sickens me. This is very surprising for an austere listener of post-hardcore music. But dear Violet does not like my interference, violent or not.

Tranquil is the coolest person I’ve ever known. Even though we hadn’t been very good friends for the 10 years we’ve known each other. I used to think of him to be cool that time too. His and my dad were good friends when they were young resulting in our knowing each other. He’s always looked down upon junkies even though he’s been a Marilyn Manson fan. Unfortunately he became that very thing he despised. He’s stopped now and his will power has amazed me time and time again. He’s only done it once since he’s left 3 weeks ago.

My brother Sam is basically my….. brother. I know nothing about him and he knows nothing about me. The things we know about each other are assumptions we make by reading each other’s messages. So that’s about it. But I do respect him a lot.

KLAUS! Klaus is on of the dumbest bi-pedal life forms on Earth. But he is the only one who can empathize with my obsession for blood and things dark. And we even talk about things as dumb as giving each other super-powers by freak accidents. He loves the music I make him hear. And I love his.

Sugar is one of the two close friends I have which I owe to facebook. She was new to school and I helped her fit in. Which I do to most newcomers as I see myself as a real living Clark Kent. She is as confused as a house pet would be when choosing a bone or a chewy he likes. I used to think that I was ‘emo’ earlier. Which she took too seriously and identifies herself with now. Which makes me feel guilty immensely.

X is an idiot! I need not say more. Even though he thinks like I do and thinks he’s as old as Gram’pa Joe. We’ve gotten into some trouble lately which is best not talked about. ;)

Beatrice. Oh, how I love her. Even though I had my times when I was confused and wondered if we had rushed it. It’s all perfect now. She makes me go blah. And makes me read the same sentence again. And makes me read the same sentence again. And makes me read the same sentence again.

Read more of my posts only if you wish to be more confused than you already are. Either you’ll hate it. Or you’ll love it.

With all due respect,
Esh Dec In